The Art of Self-Soothing
Nervous System Regulation — Somatic Release Practices — & Self Care Rituals
Anything that evolves and grows through learning, practice, consistency, experimentation and creativity is an art to me — like mastering how to self-soothe when your body, energy and nervous system, in ways that feel good to you, when you are feeling dis-regulated within.
Regulating and self-soothing ourselves is certainly not something we’re taught in school, as much as it should be, and therefore it’s something we must learn about, experiment with and take into our own hands. And trust me: You’re body will love you for it!
Here are 3 avenues I turn to when I am experiencing symptoms of dis-regulation:
— Regulation recipes to settle and calm my nervous system
— Somatic release practices to move energy in my body
— Self-care rituals to love and nurture myself
LET’S START WITH REGULATION RECIPES!
There is so much I could say about the nervous system, and maybe I’ll do a deep dive into this topic in another post, but for now, it’s valuable to simply know that it is your body’s inner alarm system; the innate and intuitive part of you that let’s you know when something is safe or dangerous— physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.
Most of you have probably heard of fight, flight, fawn and freeze and that, my friends, is the inner alarm system within you signaling danger in the body (aka a sympathetic nervous system response)! Opposite of that, is the state of rest and digest, when we are feeling safe and stable within (which is a parasympathetic response)!
When we experience symptoms and feelings of fight or flight, fawn or freeze, it’s helpful to have modalities in your back pocket that can restore you back to a state of steadiness, presence, safety and ease.
[I’m sure some of you are asking yourselves, “how do I know I’m dis-regulated? what does that feel like?”
So, let’s cover some of the common signs and signals ——
labored or shallow breath - tension - easily startled - racing thoughts - substance craving - prickly cactus response - rushing - brain fog - overstimulated - disassociated - reactive - staring into space - delayed processing - clenched jaw/grinding teeth - poor digestion (of food, information, feelings, etc.) - impulsive - burnout - distraction - overly people pleasing - fidgety - rambling - overthinking - panic - fix mode - urgency - illusion you’re in control]
I call these regulation recipes and here are 6 of my common go-tos:
DEEP BREATHS- Sighing is an automatic relief to the nervous system, when we make it audible it stimulates the vagus nerve, as the vocal chores are directly connected to it.
NATURE THERAPY- Going for a walk, sitting in the sunshine, walking barefoot in the grass. Grounding and connecting your 5 senses to the aliveness of the world around you creates an opportunity to co-regulate.
SINGING/HUMMING- just like the magic of audible exhales, singing/humming tones the vagus nerve and the more vagal tone we have the more range of resonance and resilience we have.
ROCKING/SWAYING- side to side, steady pace. the sensory stimulation associated with a swinging motion exerts a synchronizing action in the brain that reinforces internal sleep rhythms.
PHYSICAL MOVEMENT- This could be anything from stretching to dancing, to yoga to shaking— it’s really about what feels best and attractive in the moment. Physical movement is great for getting energy moving, blood flowing, and drawing deeper awareness into your being.
FRIEND THERAPY- There are times when calling on a friend to listen, support, hold space and just love you is the medicine. I find that a loved one’s company has the power to sooth and steady me out through co-regulation and socialization.
[Similar to before you may be wondering, “how do I know I’m regulated?”
So, let’s cover some of the common signs and signals ——
Present - focused - full steady breath - slowed down - decisive - embodied - relaxed - intuitive - surrendered - digesting food and information - response vs. reaction - flow - trust - clear headspace - open heart - stable and grounded - soothing energy - attentive - safe - secure - settled in to your environment - able to articulate more clearly - better listening ]
NEXT UP, SOMATIC RELEASE PRACTICES
Before we talk practices, let’s understand a brief definition of somatic!
As per Google states, somatic means, “relating to the body, especially as distinct from the mind”
While there are many ways we turn to the body for answers and healing, such as injury and illness, it’s not as widely obvious to turn to the body when trying to understand, release and recover from things like triggers, trauma, emotional charge, etc.
We spend SO much time trying to figure things with our mind; SO much time trying to make sense of things through verbal language, connecting the dots by thinking things through. This isn’t necessarily a “bad way” of going about things, however, the body is FULL of wisdom, intelligence, energy and memory, sometimes beyond what our thinking, conscious mind can easily or readily access.
Our bodies can be such sponges in the way they store and hold onto information, stories, trauma, emotion and memories. Simultaneously, they have such a magical, potent and powerful communication and release system. And when we get curious and open ourselves up to it’s intelligence, we open ourselves up to a whole new world of healing, alchemizing, understanding and overcoming.
Here are 3 of my favorite somatic release practices that get me out of my head and into my body, and ultimately, reset my system back to a space of balance and center:
BODY CHECK-INS: Slowing all the way down, pausing and asking my body a 4 part series of questions —
1. Where am I experiencing/feeling sensation? 2. How would I describe the sensation(s)? ex: buzzing, tight, contracted, jumpy, hot, numb, heavy. 3. If this sensation had an emotional quality, what would it be? ex: sadness, anger, fear, excitement. 4. Knowing what I know now, what can I do to care, honor, love and support you? Let the answer rise, listen and act!
SWAMPING: This is the ultimate emotional release practice! (One I can not take credit for, as it’s coined by the one and only Mama Gena, Author of the book, ‘Pussy: A Reclamation’). However, it’s an activity I turn to often when I feel overwhelmed in the emotional realms and feel the need to move it through and out! Scream and punch into pillows, let the tears waterfall out, shake your body to alchemize, land back in your body through slow, sensual movement and come out on the other side soothed, clear and grounded.
BODY-SCAN: This method, in my experience, has been super grounding, especially effortless, and has welcomed me to really beautiful, heightened states of awareness within my body and being. In my practice, I like to lay all the way down on my back on a surface that feels strong, stable and steady. With eyes closed and breath slow, deep and steady, the intention is to soften into the body through a process of scanning. Starting at the crown of the head and, in time, ending at the tips of your toes, you will bring an awareness into the different areas of your body and speak loving permission to these spaces to soften. Not to fix, change or alter anything, just to soften and release.
AND OF COURSE, SELF-CARE RITUALS
Who doesn’t love a good act of self-service that screams I SEE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I CARE ABOUT YOU!
Self-care rituals are truly my daily dose of medicine! They keep my feeling grounded, fulfilled, steady, at ease and loved throughout the schedules and routines of life. It’s important to prioritize your physical, emotional and mental wellbeing, even in the moments when everything feels easy and great, because 1. you deserve to uplift and treat yourself to love, care and affection ALWAYS and 2. so when things do feel like they are falling apart or shit is hitting the fan, you have some automatic go-to’s that you know breathe life back into your bones; that help you to land your feet back on the ground.
I find that through ritualizing my self-care practices, I feel more consistently stable, happy, relaxed, enthusiastic and at peace and I am able to show up in the world with more presence, enjoyment, trust and ease. It’s a win win for both me and the people around me :)
My list of self-care rituals could fill pages on pages, but I do have some most beloved remedies that I know will soothe my soul without fail:
FRESH AIR: Get this girl outside in the healing sunshine and fresh air! It’s THE medicine. Whether it’s sitting outside on the porch, taking a hike in the woods, laying in a grassy field or taking a lil’ lap around the neighborhood, if there is sunshine, nature and open air, I’m in!
JOURNALING: Nothing like putting a pen to paper and just seeing where it takes you. As someone who has a tendency to overthink or feel stuck in the process of things, it’s been incredibly nourishing, refreshing and enjoyable to let my thoughts and feelings flow out through creative expression, words and writing.
YOGA AND MEDITATION: Now, this is my go-to, and you may feel magnetized to something else, which is perfectly perfect! What I love about yoga and meditation is its all-in-one ability to deeeeeeeply connect me to my breath, body, spirit, energy, mind and higher power. This has been my version of church for the last 13 years and let’s just say, there is a reason I haven’t stopped.
INFUSING PLEASURE: Let me explain. YES, this could totally refer to sexual pleasure and having a self-pleasure practice, however, I am referring to pleasure here in a broader sense. Infusing pleasure is an invitation to make anything and everything I do more intentionally pleasurable. This could look like thoughtfully choosing the mug I want to drink out of instead of just grabbing the first one on the self, dimming the lights and lighting some candles and incense in the room when I’m winding down in the evening, picking out an outfit that makes me feel excited, cute and comfortable wearing it, or filling the tabletops of my home with delicious fruit bowls and fresh, colorful flowers to liven up the space.
BODY/ENERGY WORK: This specific one is such a wonderful practice of receiving. As someone who spends a lot of time and energy holding space and pouring back into others, it’s vital that I allow others to pour back into me. It is such an act of love and care to myself and my body to let other’s work their magic on me and support me in recharging my batteries and filling up my cup. Things like massage, reiki, yoga classes, sound healing, coaching and guided breath work have all been deeply impactful for my body and energy and have reminded me that we don’t always have to get things done on our own— sometimes it takes a loving, supportive village!
After reading, you may have a better sense of how and why I refer to self-soothing as an art— it takes practice, devotion, consistency, experimentation, energy, curiosity and creativity!
We GET to take the reigns of our own well-being and stability and, in my opinion, these avenues are a wonderful and effective way to start!
If this blog post got your wheels turning, sparked excitement, or brought your curiosity to life, share your feedback and thoughts and keep your eyes peeled for an opportunity to dive deeper, together!
All my love
